he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
