Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
