What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
