Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
