I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
