I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
