**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
