Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
