Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
