mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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