The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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