I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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