my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
