i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
