im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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