I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
