I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
