I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
