Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
