My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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