Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
