Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
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