I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
