Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
