Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
