Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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