Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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