I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
