If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
