I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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