How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Hippo gnu deer
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
