did you get engaged???
My first STD was from a foam party
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
