if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
