Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
