Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
