he told me I talked like a deaf person
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
