So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There's a naked man in my car right now.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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