dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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