I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
