I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i out mim tonsoeep
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