I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
