TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
