Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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