I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
