The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
