i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
