My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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