Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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