Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
