You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
