No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
