ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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