im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
